Ethiopian Culture Integration Group Brainstorm

Okay, so this post is a shout out to everyone who has Ethiopian kids home, is in the process, knows an Ethiopian kid, well, hey just everyone.

I have said before, it is important to incoporate Ethiopian culture into our family life. It is a bit more difficult for us than some because there is not an Ethiopian community close to us. I have begun the process/planning/brainstorming in a few ways which I will list below. What I am asking is for people to add to this list by leaving comments as to what you do, what you plan to do, what you would do if you had an Ethiopian child... That way, we can all learn from each other.

Here are my thoughts/plans so far.

1. Each year on Gotcha Day, I will give Brynly a gift that I got while picking her up in ET.
2. We will celebrate Ganna each year with an ET feast.
3. Every morning I kiss her on the cheek (one, then the other, then the other). This is a typical ET greeting.
4. I am learning some Amharic words to use each day.
5. My agency's great country rep has a daughter about the same age and she and Brynly are going to be pen pals as they grow up
6. Trips to gatherings in MD
7. Organizing a group of WV Ethiopian adoptive families.

Bring on the suggestions!

Love That Face

Here are some fresh Brynly pics. I am trying to get some walking and talking video uploaded but the computer I am using is SOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW. It will have to wait until tomorrow as that her nap will never last long enough to get it done now. :)

My Travel Buddy is a Mommy!!!!!

One of the lovely ladies who traveled with me to Ethiopia to get Brynly made it through court today. Hooray!! She went to visit the baby while the other two of us picked up our girls. It took a lot of strength to see what we saw and then have to go home without her baby that trip. It has been a winding road for her and the sweet little girl. Now in a few weeks, they will be together again and headed for home.

Welcome E.V. to Team Ethiopia!!!

What is poor?

In the past on this blog, I have spoken briefly about how I am different after having visited Ethiopia. One way, that I am not sure is good, is that I have become a bit less compassionate of the needy here. (Not children or other groups I see as powerless-I will continue to do the work I have done for years on behalf children)

Sure, things are tough in this country. I don't want to get into politics in this arena but the current administration has basically wrecked every part of this country from the economy to education. I have felt the pinch and I know others are struggling mightily. I don't look upon that lighlty but being poor here is not the same as poverty in Ethiopia. If someone in the US is hungry, there are food pantries and soup kitchens in virtually every city and town. If they are sick, they can go to an emergency room and not be turned away. Children are vaccinated at no cost and education is free. There are governmental safety nets in place everywhere. But what of the people in Ethiopia? What about those people on the street who have no recourse but to beg for anything to feed the starving baby strapped to their back? While in Ethiopia, I did see one feeding type center one morning. The line stretched as far as the eye could see. I am sure somewhere in the middle of that line, were people who knew the available food would never last to make it to them.
What about the kids in the many orphanages? They have no heat, water that is not clean, not enough food and certainly not enough medical care. They suffer from worms and parasites and more serious diseases and their caretakers are powerless to help them. Even the hospitals don't have the medicines or equipment needed to help people. It costs money to go to school and MANY MANY Ethiopians just don't have it to spare.

So, I find myself looking at the poorest among us here and thinking that even they have it so much better. I don't want to become cold or hardened toward their struggle. I am glad our country has the means to assist these people. But, in determing what I should do with my life in terms of helping people, I find myself being pulled toward those that simply cannot help themselves and have no assistance in sight.

Okay, I now step down from my soapbox and welcome any insight or comment.

Habesha Dress

This past weekend Brynly had photographs taken in her Habesha (Ethiopian) dress. She looked adorable, of course. Moreso than looking cute, it is important that she have actual visual representation of herself in authentic dress. She won't remember Ethiopia. When we visit, she will be seeing it through American eyes. Yet, Ethiopia is a part of her. It is where she began. Her roots are there even though I don't know what they are.

Before I went to get her, a friend had a great suggestion. It was to get a bunch of gifts and give her one on her birthday each year. Isn't that a great idea? Actually, I think I will give them to her on Gotcha Day each year, but anyway... While there, I got a bunch of things. When I got home, I realized as much as I had, a year would would come when there would be nothing left to give. I think I have eleven or twelve items for her. I decided that when the items are gone,that will be when we will make our trip back to Ethiopia.

This year's gift was her Habesha dress. She won't remember getting it but she will always have these portraits of her in it and will hopefully feel very proud of her roots.

A Happy Day

Today is a happy day...

1) Fellow bloggers Jocelyn and Amy are with their kids in ET. For those who have not spent the better part of a year stalking Ethiopian adoption blogs, you should know that Jocelyn, especially, has had quite a roller coaster ride getting to this day including a lost referral. But, today she is with her daughter and Amy with her son in sunny Addis Ababa.

2) My best friend begins her journey in earnest. Somewhere in Ethiopia is a very lucky little girl. I am so happy Brynly is going to have an Ethiopian "cousin." It will be such fun seeing them grow up together.

3)My Dad has his last chemo treatment, hopefully for a long while.

4)Brynly

The Answer?

I recently read an article in Newsweek about UNICEF's negative stance on intercountry adoption. Their point is that children should be placed with families in their own countries. And that corruption in international adoption is making children a commodity. I can only comment on this from what I know, but I do have a pretty strong opinion.

Problems in international adoption are clearly occurring. Russia has had issues to the point of completely stopping adoptions for a time. Guatemala is a mess. These are among MANY reasons I chose Ethiopia.

Yes, it would be great if all the 4.5 million+ orphans in Ethiopia could find homes with families in Ethiopia. It would also be great if all wars ended and all disease everywhere were eradicated. But, that just isn't going to happen. Nearly 78% of the population of Ethiopia live on less than $2 per day. (Human Development Report 2007/2008 UNDP)We're not talking poverty the way we in America know poverty. Disease is rampant. And not just AIDS, there is Malaria and TB and so much illness associated with bad water and malnutrition. There are just not enough people who can to take in these children. I agree that adoption is not the sole answer. Of those millions of orphans, only 1500 or so will be adopted this year. But that is something.

I saw the people living on the streets with babies tied to their backs. I saw the children in the slums scooping up filthy water from puddles, presumably to drink. I don't like to think of Brynly living like that. Chances are that she would be (had she even lived-1 in 10 don't make it to their first birthday) if it hadn't been for the selflessness and courage of her biological family and Ethiopia's openess to intercountry adoption.

I agree with UNICEF that corruption is possible and should be dealt with. I can say that Ethiopia's proces is fairly transparent, there are rules in place to determine orphan status, etc. to keep corruption from occurring. Adoption there is overseen by the government. It is growing fast and the Ethiopian government is straining to keep up. I can't speak about other countries, but I have seen the way Ethiopians feel abou their children. If they could handle the problem domestically, they would. But they can't and I am thankful for the efforts of the Ethiopian government. I was never made to feel like my child was an export, a commodity.

Ethiopia will always be a part of our family's life. It is my obligation to that country that Brynly knows all I can help her to know about it. Every other adoptive family I have talked to feels much the same. No, international adoption is not the BEST solution for any country, but when you think of these children as individuals, it is a solution for them.

Can't Get Enough of Her

Here is another little montage (love these things). Enjoy-especially those who don't get to enjoy her in person.

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