So Far, So Good

Birke(ly) and I are back from Ethiopia. I love Ethiopia but HATE getting there and back. I am just not a long haul flyer. Birke, on the other hand, handled it all like a champ. She flew like she was a seasoned traveler. What a trooper-three planes, layovers, running through airports, a two hour drive home after the last flight, jet lag...and yet, she was in better shape than I was after it all.

The trip itself was great, albeit short. We spent some time at Miskaye, visited some museums, ate some great food, spent time with friends...I knew it woul dbe both of our last times in Ethiopia for awhile, so I wanted to be sure she got to see a little bit of her own country. We will be back but it was important to me that her Gotcha Trip was about celebrating the good things of Ethiopia. That we did.

Lots o' people have asked how she did leaving. She did great. The strength, resilience, adaptability and sheer courage of these children never ceases to amaze me. She was taken away from everything and everyone she knows, can't understand a word I say, has no idea what is going to happen at any given moment...and yet, she is able to laugh and even be amazed by new things. Would I be so able? I doubt it. Anyway, I picked her up from the orphanage the day I arrived. She shed some tears saying goodbye that day. By Wednesday, when we went back for the goodbye coffee ceremony, she had gotten used to the situation and to me. She didn't cry and told everyone goodbye in English and away we went. I let her take my camera around by herself and she got pictures with her nannies and had a chance to tell them goodbye in private.

Since we got home, she has been doing well settling in. My mom and sister picked us up at the airport and then we had a little welcome home gathering at our house. She enjoyed meeting the people in the pictures she has been looking at and had a good time playing with toys. She and Brynly hit it off pretty well and she made up with Rudi the dog after a few minutes. I was a little worried that brynly would spaz,especially after my last trip, where she was attached to my hip and was quite challenging for days. But, she is doing fine. The first thing Brynly said when she woke up was, "where Birky?" They played together with only a few "mine" outbursts from the Brynster. They had a great time playing in the back yard. I am sure we will have our trials and tribulations, but we are at least over the first day hump.

So, next week will bring the start of Birkely's tutoring, her first doctor visit, a trip to an amusement park and who knows what else.

So far, so good.

We Three

It is the eve of my departure for Birkely's "Gotcha" trip. I have several things still to do. I am definately not as ready as I was for Brynly's trip-in terms of having stuff just right. I am definately ready to have her home.

I have a children's theatre company. It is not very active anymore, but anyway. Back in the day when I was doing shows regularly, there were shows that were so ready. Every necessity was done early and I had time to add special, finishing touches. I had time to think and really enjoy each moment of the show. Then there were shows that I was not nearly as ready for. I was finishing sets, gathering props,etc. at the last minute. Either way, the shows went up, but it was just so much easier and more enjoyable when I had time to really soak it all in. I liken the latter to how I feel now. Everything necessary is ready. Birkely has a bedroom and clothes and toys (thanks to my BFF). There is just so much more I wanted to do. I wanted to have her scrapbook started. I wanted to have our daily schedule mapped out. I wanted to have a lot more pictures of her around the house so it didn't look like she was entering Brynlyland. Many things I wanted to do just didn't materialize.

That is how it goes. And even if everything I wanted to happen didn't, the time is here and I am definatley excited about bringing this child home. This child who, a month ago, had never seen a bubble or a sticker, didn't know what to do with a crayon...who just wanted to belong to someone. I suppose she won't mind all the details that aren't in place. So, I will focus on the two of us enjoying our Gotcha Trip and on Birkely, Brynly and I soon becoming "we three."

Dancin' Queen

Brynly had her little dance recital a couple of weeks ago. At our studio, the two year old class has a mini recital at the studio then all the big kids (3 and up :)) have the "big show." Anyway, Brynly and her dance class posse did a great job. The show had a luau theme and, I must say, Brynly rocked the look. :)I have some video, but haven't gotten it uploaded. Stupid Vaio with no Firewire...should've gotten a new Mac. Geez.

Two Boys, One Summer Day, a Bunch of Cardboard

My sister is an elementary school counselor. Since my school was out before hers, I watched my nephews a few days between the students' last day and the staff's last day of school. We had a great time. We hit the library, played mini golf, took walks and played in my garage. Now, playing in a garage may not seem like fun on the surface. But, my garage is filled with costumes, props and set supplies from my children's theatre. Of all the stuff in there, they had the most fun with cardboard. A box became a piano, some tubes became swords. They are great kids and I am glad Brynly and Birkely have them to grow up with.

Tick, Tick

How is it that I had about 7 months to prepare for my new daughter's arrival and, three days from departure, I still have a million things to do?

All Clear

I got my travel clearance today, hooray! Can I just say that this new TB test requirement by the embassy is a big pain? I totally understand wanting to do such a screening, but could we possibly work it out to be done a bit sooner, huh?

Anyhoo, barring any unforeseen catastrophe, I will be on my way to get Birkely next Friday. Woo to the Hoo!

Birke/Birkely

I meant to but never did expand on my meeting my new daughter on my trip to Ethiopia a couple of weeks ago.

Birke, prounounced Bir-KAY, (AKA Birkely)is very sweet and eager for attention. She was always happy to see me come to the oprhanage and sad to see me go. She seemed to learn things quickly and also seemed to bore easily (like mother, like daughter. :))She was patient with the littler ones, but certainly had a limit. I am sure Brynly will enjoy testing that limit. :) She loved to look at the pictures on my camera over and over. the orphanage director helped me explain who and what everyone and everything was. She had fun taking pics of the orphanage and the nannies, etc. and wasn't especially anxious to give the camera back when asked. :) I can't wait to get her home and settled in our new life.

It made me sad to leave each day and, especially when I had to come home, for the obvious reasons but also because Birke is kind of lonely where she is. She is at an orphanage where she is the only child there over 3 years old. She also, essentially, has no language. She is from near Hawassa, which is part of the Sidama region. The language there is Sidama. She was moved a few months ago to the orphanage in Addis. The language in Addis is Amharic. She is learning Amharic and seems to understand it for the most part, but is not fluent. However, while she is learning Amharic, she is losing Sidama. So, really is not fluent in any language. As a professor of Communication, I know the research and the reality of the importance of language. Basically, it precedes thought. It has to be lonely and frustrating to be without a way to communicate even with yourself while "in between languages."

As part of my commitment to our now transcultural family, I have begun to learn Amharic. It won't help me communicate with Birke, really, but it is important to me for both my girls to learn the official language of their country. If I had any resources whatsoever, I would see to it that Birke kept her Sidama as well. I have come up empty on that, so Amharic will be it. I think some are okay with their adopted chidlren losing (or never having a connection to) their native language. In America-speak English, I guess. I am not okay with that. My children are Ethiopian. When we spend time there, I don't want them to be strangers in a strange land. I feel very strongly about the language being a part of their identity. So, I will continue to learn and practice. And, I will make the necessary connections so that language will not be a part of all that they have lost by not being raised in Ethiopia.

More Trip Stuff-Miskaye

In addition to accompanying my friend, Diann, to pick up her daughter, this trip was also a site visit to Miskaye. For those newcomers (all 1 or 2 of you), Miskaye is the orphanage in Ethiopia that is supported by the nonprofit organization a fellow adoptive mom (Dedra)and I formed.

Miskaye has been open for a few months and now is home of 12 children ages 1 week-12 years old. Before the actual opening, many months were spent on both sides of the globe visualizing, planning, fundraising and dreaming of what could be...what should be. Miskaye was born out of the belief that no child should have to live without proper food, shelter, medical care, education and loving care. My daughter, Brynly, and Dedra's three girls all came from an orphanage that was filthy and did not have enough of anything (food, clothes, staff, medicine, etc). the faces of those children left inside the gates of that orphanage haunted us and our Ethiopian collaborators. The children there not only lacked the very basics of life, they also lacked hope. You could see it in their faces as they said goodbye to the lucky ones who were leaving.

What I experienced at Miskaye was just the opposite. The facility was spotless...much cleaner than my own house. The babies were warm and dry and well fed. They are cuddled and snuggled and spoken to. The older children have space where they can have things of their own. They watch television for fun and have a little school room for learning English. They are fed fruits and veggies everyday and never, ever go to bed hungry. There are photos on the walls and toys to paly with.

It is an orphanage, but it is not institutional at all. It is very homey. The children laugh and play and are very comfortable. Although it is not the ideal situation (that would be a family), it is home for them. Miskaye is a joyful place. it truly felt as if wewere visiting someone's home. We were treated to a delicious dinner,a coffee cermony and dancing and singing by the older children.

The starkest contrast with Brynly's orphanage is the demeanor of the children. They are not hopeless. They go to school. They have people that love them. They will have productive lives whether or not they (or any of the future children of Miskaye) are ever adopted. We will make sure of that.

Truly, I cannot say enough about how moving it was to see a dream realized right in front of my eyes. I hope that each and every one of you out there who gave $5 or $10or gathered supplies or prayed for Miskaye, can understand the magnitude of what we are doing together.